So, I'm sure lots of you are wondering how things are going here and all I can say is WONDERFULLY!!!!
Chelsi arrived on Friday, Jan 25th at 3:49pm. She was 6 pounds 6 ounces, and 20" long. She's a tiny little peanut.
We met her Saturday morning and then went back to pick her up Sunday night.
It was impossible to imagine what that night would be like and it was much more than we ever hoped for.
I was able to spend a few minutes with Jessie, her mom, Janet & Chelsi alone. It was heartbreaking listening to the fear in Jessie's voice as she asked to keep her baby safe always. I, of course, promised I would. What a hard, grown up loss for a young woman.
After that, we all went to a meeting room at the hospital where several of Jessie's family and a couple of her friends were waiting with our social workers. There was a beautiful ceremony with sweet words and Bible verses. Jessie, Janet & I lit a Unity candle for Chelsi and then we had a chance to share our thoughts. (And lots of tears.)
While it was very sad, it also was a very nice time. We enjoyed her family and friends very much and it seems like a great start for our open relationship. We all share a strong faith in God, and it showed in our time together.
I know lots of you want to see pictures of our dear baby girl, but I need to get Jessie's permission to share them here and on Facebook. We will be seeing her tomorrow so we will talk about it then.
Jessi and her mom are coming here for a visit and lunch tomorrow. We are looking forward to seeing them and having them see our home.
Thank you everyone for all of your prayers, messages and well wishes. It means so much to us! Kevin is so anti Facebook, but he loves for me to read your comments!!
Oh yes, Eli. He has been so great. He absolutely adores Chelsi, and helps with her all of the time. He is just so sweet with her. He's going to be the best big brother!!
God is so good.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Some technical stuff
Hello, Happy New Year! Things are getting exciting around here...less than 2 weeks until Chelsi's due date. People have asked how we can stand it, but I am surprisingly calm. I have no idea why I feel like this, but we're ready whenever she comes, so there isn't much I can do. I guess after all of these years of waiting for our next baby, a couple weeks doesn't seem like very long at all.
I do feel cautious about guarding my heart and our family, because at times, it doesn't seem like it will really happen. I think this is a common feeling adoptive families have, not wanting to get your hopes up, one more time. In infertility treatments, this happens often, after each cycle. It got to be so hard. With adoption, there are lots of unknowns and possibilities, but I do feel our situation is really good. I am so thankful that our birth mom has had lots of visits with her wonderful social worker. They do a fabulous job of really showing birth moms their choices in either parenting or placing for adoption. It is a very thoughtful process, letting the birth mom make the ultimate choice. Our birth mom has spent a lot of time with her social worker, which really shows in their close relationship at our meetings. I am so glad she has that support and I think it is a good sign for how our adoption will go. (That is what we are praying!!!)
So one thing a lot of people have questions about it the "technical" stuff, like when she will officially be our daughter. This is actually a complicated question here in Minnesota. All states make their own adoption laws, which many adoption advocates wish was a national system. Minnesota's laws are pretty complicated, where some states are much more simple. People often choose out of state agencies for this reason.
The way it works (I'll try to explain this clearly and as best I understand it-I think I finally have it figured out.) is that the birth mom CANNOT sign Termination of Parental Rights paperwork until 72 hours have passed since the birth. After that point, she has UP TO 90 days to sign those papers. That means, that when Chelsi leaves the hospital with us, she will be considered our foster child. (This is called a Fos-Adopt placement.) So, after the birth mom decides to sign these papers, (it really varies how long women take to do this) she has 10 business days to change her mind. After those 10 days have passed, she cannot change her mind. So, that is a big day, but it still isn't official until 60 days AFTER those TPR papers are signed. That is the point we will go to a Judge to get official paperwork that she is ours!
We will try to let everyone know ASAP when we hear the good news. We'll be able to spend time at the hospital with her. Kevin will have 2 weeks off after she is born. We will probably lay low for those couple of weeks, with just close family and a few friends visiting. It's an important time for bonding and attachment. It seems like it wouldn't be that big of a deal for an infant, but really, it is a big loss for her...she'll be leaving the person she has been with for the last 40 weeks...no sounds or smells will be familiar. We need to be concentrating on her getting to know the 3 of us, most importantly. So that means lots of skin to skin contact, baby wearing and just me and Kevin feeding, changing and comforting her. We will let everyone know when we are up for more company. Thanks for understanding about this.
Thanks again for all of your prayers and well wishes during this whole, long process! We are so thankful for all of you and your interest in our story.
I do feel cautious about guarding my heart and our family, because at times, it doesn't seem like it will really happen. I think this is a common feeling adoptive families have, not wanting to get your hopes up, one more time. In infertility treatments, this happens often, after each cycle. It got to be so hard. With adoption, there are lots of unknowns and possibilities, but I do feel our situation is really good. I am so thankful that our birth mom has had lots of visits with her wonderful social worker. They do a fabulous job of really showing birth moms their choices in either parenting or placing for adoption. It is a very thoughtful process, letting the birth mom make the ultimate choice. Our birth mom has spent a lot of time with her social worker, which really shows in their close relationship at our meetings. I am so glad she has that support and I think it is a good sign for how our adoption will go. (That is what we are praying!!!)
So one thing a lot of people have questions about it the "technical" stuff, like when she will officially be our daughter. This is actually a complicated question here in Minnesota. All states make their own adoption laws, which many adoption advocates wish was a national system. Minnesota's laws are pretty complicated, where some states are much more simple. People often choose out of state agencies for this reason.
The way it works (I'll try to explain this clearly and as best I understand it-I think I finally have it figured out.) is that the birth mom CANNOT sign Termination of Parental Rights paperwork until 72 hours have passed since the birth. After that point, she has UP TO 90 days to sign those papers. That means, that when Chelsi leaves the hospital with us, she will be considered our foster child. (This is called a Fos-Adopt placement.) So, after the birth mom decides to sign these papers, (it really varies how long women take to do this) she has 10 business days to change her mind. After those 10 days have passed, she cannot change her mind. So, that is a big day, but it still isn't official until 60 days AFTER those TPR papers are signed. That is the point we will go to a Judge to get official paperwork that she is ours!
We will try to let everyone know ASAP when we hear the good news. We'll be able to spend time at the hospital with her. Kevin will have 2 weeks off after she is born. We will probably lay low for those couple of weeks, with just close family and a few friends visiting. It's an important time for bonding and attachment. It seems like it wouldn't be that big of a deal for an infant, but really, it is a big loss for her...she'll be leaving the person she has been with for the last 40 weeks...no sounds or smells will be familiar. We need to be concentrating on her getting to know the 3 of us, most importantly. So that means lots of skin to skin contact, baby wearing and just me and Kevin feeding, changing and comforting her. We will let everyone know when we are up for more company. Thanks for understanding about this.
Thanks again for all of your prayers and well wishes during this whole, long process! We are so thankful for all of you and your interest in our story.
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