The end of the adoption process but the beginning of a wonderful life.

Well, it seems hard to believe that Miss Chelsi is already 4 months old.  Things have been going so well all around.  She is a sweet, sweet, happy baby.  She sleeps great, is so easy going. She smiles often and loves her big brother.  She is tiny, only in the 6th percentile for weight but is growing and is healthy.

This time of year is always super busy and fun for us...it starts with Eli's birthday May 17th, then my sister, Connie's May 25th.  Kevin's is the 28th, and mine is the 29th.  Add in Mother's Day, our anniversary (June 5th) and then Father's Day, we do a lot of celebrating in these few weeks.

We now have one more SUPER AWESOME exciting thing to add to this list...June 3rd will always be our Adoption Day!!!

We finalized our adoption in court yesterday.  It was a beautiful day and we had several of our family with us to witness the amazing event.  Our judge was so kind, and asked thoughtful questions.  One of our favorite parts (that got everyone crying) was when she asked Eli why he wanted to adopt Chelsi.  He said right away, so bravely, "Well, it just feels good taking care of her."  sniff-sniff.

After the hearing, we went down to the river in Stillwater to take a few pictures and enjoy the day with an outdoor lunch at one of The Freight House. All in all, it was a fabulous day.

While we are sooooo happy and excited that this is the end of this adoption process, we are always mindful that this is bittersweet.  Not only for Cheli's birthmother and her family, but for Chelsi as well.  We are so, so thankful to God that he connected us with such a wonderful family.  We couldn't have dreamed of a better situation.  We LOVE Jessie and her family and are excited to grow our relationship with them over time.  We are fortunate that they live close so we'll be able to do things often....holidays, birthday parties, choir concerts (we got to see Jessie sing...they were great!!) and even Kevin's softball games!! This is has been so difficult for them all, but we will continue to pray for healing and comfort for them.

Thanks for following along in this process.  Here is one last pic of the cutie!!!

3 months old!!

Our sweet girl is 3 months old today!! She has been such a joy. She's a very happy baby, sleeping great, smiling, talking and starting to giggle. She LOVES her big brother and he loves her right back.

90 days is a big step in the adoption process...after that our adoption can be finalized. We will go before a judge in our county within the next few weeks.

It is bittersweet because we know this is a hard time for the birth family. We've been so blessed to get to know them over the last 3 months and are really enjoying our new relationship. They are a sweet, kind and funny family that have given us the most indescribable gift. It's hard to celebrate something that we know hurts people we care about, but for us it is a really exciting time, one that we've dreamed of for years!!

We did have a very sad day last week, when we had to have our 13 year old dog, Eli's best friend, Duke, to sleep. He had been having some new symptoms of illness and we found out it was cancer. We all miss him very much...it's very strange here without him.

We hope this finds you all happy and healthy. I'm sure like us, you're ready for spring!! Enjoy!!

6 weeks home

Well, Chelsi is 6 weeks old already and doing great! She's so sweet and starting to smile. Especially at her big brother who is totally in love with her!! We are all adjusting great...even the getting up in the night.

Eli had his tonsils out last week and I was actually up more with him than the baby!! He is doing well now, although its hard to keep him from being active. He is supposed to be quiet for 2 weeks!!! He probably overdid it this weekend a bit and had a bad night last night.

I had to make a hard decision last week...I told my nephew & his wife that I need to be done doing daycare for them. I feel badly because I love spending time with their boys and being able to help them out, but I've figured out it's more than I can handle having 2 little babies and a toddler. It's not fair to any of them, or our family. I can't get anything done around here...sorry if you've been waiting for thank you cards, (I've got 100 here to write!!) or really go anywhere. I kept thinking if I could get to summer it would be ok, but I realized Eli would really suffer this summer. So, they've started the really hard task of looking for daycare. Please pray they find the perfect spot!

We have seen Jessie, the birth mom and her family a few times and things are going great!! They are a really kind, friendly family who we are really enjoying getting to know. They got to meet more of our family at the Parent/Child Dedication at our church a couple weeks ago.

I have to go-babies need me!!! Can't wait for spring!!!

First days home

So, I'm sure lots of you are wondering how things are going here and all I can say is WONDERFULLY!!!!

Chelsi arrived on Friday, Jan 25th at 3:49pm. She was 6 pounds 6 ounces, and 20" long. She's a tiny little peanut.

We met her Saturday morning and then went back to pick her up Sunday night.

It was impossible to imagine what that night would be like and it was much more than we ever hoped for.

I was able to spend a few minutes with Jessie, her mom, Janet & Chelsi alone. It was heartbreaking listening to the fear in Jessie's voice as she asked to keep her baby safe always. I, of course, promised I would. What a hard, grown up loss for a young woman.

After that, we all went to a meeting room at the hospital where several of Jessie's family and a couple of her friends were waiting with our social workers. There was a beautiful ceremony with sweet words and Bible verses. Jessie, Janet & I lit a Unity candle for Chelsi and then we had a chance to share our thoughts. (And lots of tears.)

While it was very sad, it also was a very nice time. We enjoyed her family and friends very much and it seems like a great start for our open relationship. We all share a strong faith in God, and it showed in our time together.

I know lots of you want to see pictures of our dear baby girl, but I need to get Jessie's permission to share them here and on Facebook. We will be seeing her tomorrow so we will talk about it then.

Jessi and her mom are coming here for a visit and lunch tomorrow. We are looking forward to seeing them and having them see our home.

Thank you everyone for all of your prayers, messages and well wishes. It means so much to us! Kevin is so anti Facebook, but he loves for me to read your comments!!

Oh yes, Eli. He has been so great. He absolutely adores Chelsi, and helps with her all of the time. He is just so sweet with her. He's going to be the best big brother!!

God is so good.

Some technical stuff

Hello, Happy New Year!  Things are getting exciting around here...less than 2 weeks until Chelsi's due date.  People have asked how we can stand it, but I am surprisingly calm. I have no idea why I feel like this, but we're ready whenever she comes, so there isn't much I can do. I guess after all of these years of waiting for our next baby, a couple weeks doesn't seem like very long at all.

I do feel cautious about guarding my heart and our family, because at times, it doesn't seem like it will really happen.  I think this is a common feeling adoptive families have, not wanting to get your hopes up, one more time.  In infertility treatments, this happens often, after each cycle.  It got to be so hard.  With adoption, there are lots of unknowns and possibilities, but I do feel our situation is really good.  I am so thankful that our birth mom has had lots of visits with her wonderful social worker.  They do a fabulous job of really showing birth moms their choices in either parenting or placing for adoption.  It is a very thoughtful process, letting the birth mom make the ultimate choice.  Our birth mom has spent a lot of time with her social worker, which really shows in their close relationship at our meetings.  I am so glad she has that support and I think it is a good sign for how our adoption will go.  (That is what we are praying!!!)

So one thing a lot of people have questions about it the "technical" stuff, like when she will officially be our daughter.  This is actually a complicated question here in Minnesota.  All states make their own adoption laws, which many adoption advocates wish was a national system.  Minnesota's laws are pretty complicated, where some states are much more simple.  People often choose out of state agencies for this reason.

The way it works (I'll try to explain this clearly and as best I understand it-I think I finally have it figured out.) is that the birth mom CANNOT sign Termination of Parental Rights paperwork until 72 hours have passed since the birth.  After that point, she has UP TO 90 days to sign those papers.  That means, that when Chelsi leaves the hospital with us, she will be considered our foster child. (This is called a Fos-Adopt placement.) So, after the birth mom decides to sign these papers, (it really varies how long women take to do this) she has 10 business days to change her mind.  After those 10 days have passed, she cannot change her mind.  So, that is a big day, but it still isn't official until 60 days AFTER those TPR papers are signed.  That is the point we will go to a Judge to get official paperwork that she is ours!

We will try to let everyone know ASAP when we hear the good news.  We'll be able to spend time at the hospital with her.  Kevin will have 2 weeks off after she is born.  We will probably lay low for those couple of weeks, with just close family and a few friends visiting.  It's an important time for bonding and attachment. It seems like it wouldn't be that big of a deal for an infant, but really, it is a big loss for her...she'll be leaving the person she has been with for the last 40 weeks...no sounds or smells will be familiar.  We need to be concentrating on her getting to know the 3 of us, most importantly.  So that means lots of skin to skin contact, baby wearing and just me and Kevin feeding, changing and comforting her.  We will let everyone know when we are up for more company.  Thanks for understanding about this.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and well wishes during this whole, long process!  We are so thankful for all of you and your interest in our story.

2nd meeting with Birth Mom

Hello Everyone,
I have been meaning to write all day about our meeting last night.  It went really well despite a stressful start for everyone.  The traffic was so horrible again in the Twin Cities, Kevin, Connie, Jessie and her dad were all 30 minutes late.  They were feeling terrible, but it was unavoidable.  Janet, Jessie's mom, Eli, our social worker, Tiffany and I all had a nice visit while waiting for them, and I think the fact that the latecomers were all there at about the same (albeit late) time, it kind of broke the ice, complaining about crazy MN roads!!!

This was the first time we met Jessie's dad, and Eli hadn't met Jessie yet either.  It was really nice for everyone to get a chance to talk and get to know each other better. Connie (my sister) was there to take Eli out to dinner after the beginning part where we all chatted.

After they left, we went over the birth plan, which had already been written up by Jessie and her social worker.  The plan is for us to be notified once Chelsi is born, and when Jessie is feeling up to us visiting. We will get to spend alone time with the baby at the hospital and she will spend time with Jessie and her family as well. This is a time that is definitely more about the birth family, and we understand and respect that.  We will have a special ceremony after discharge that the social workers from our agency will perform, called an Entrustment Ceremony.  It is an important step in the adoption process for birth families and adoptive families.

We talked about some ongoing contact, specifically their family visiting us here at our house sometime during the holidays, hopefully Jessie's siblings will be able to join us for that. They were excited about seeing where we live and being able to see Chelsi's room.

The other thing we discussed was the Child Dedication (like a baptism-what our church does for babies) and they are very interested in attending and inviting some of their extended family, who we are also excited to meet.

All in all, our meeting was wonderful. We really enjoy Jessie and like her parents very much too. Eli was so brave and grown up, introducing himself, talking about hobbies and things he likes in school.  He also asked Jessie a few questions about her responsibilities at their house caring for their dog, and he also asked if he could take a picture of her with her parents.  It is a picture we will treasure.

So, be praying for a safe and uneventful delivery of our sweet baby in about 5 weeks!!!  Can't wait to get that call!!!  Happy Holidays everyone!  We aren't sending Christmas cards, but look for something in the New Year, when we have a new family member to add to our family photo!!!!