2nd meeting with Birth Mom

Hello Everyone,
I have been meaning to write all day about our meeting last night.  It went really well despite a stressful start for everyone.  The traffic was so horrible again in the Twin Cities, Kevin, Connie, Jessie and her dad were all 30 minutes late.  They were feeling terrible, but it was unavoidable.  Janet, Jessie's mom, Eli, our social worker, Tiffany and I all had a nice visit while waiting for them, and I think the fact that the latecomers were all there at about the same (albeit late) time, it kind of broke the ice, complaining about crazy MN roads!!!

This was the first time we met Jessie's dad, and Eli hadn't met Jessie yet either.  It was really nice for everyone to get a chance to talk and get to know each other better. Connie (my sister) was there to take Eli out to dinner after the beginning part where we all chatted.

After they left, we went over the birth plan, which had already been written up by Jessie and her social worker.  The plan is for us to be notified once Chelsi is born, and when Jessie is feeling up to us visiting. We will get to spend alone time with the baby at the hospital and she will spend time with Jessie and her family as well. This is a time that is definitely more about the birth family, and we understand and respect that.  We will have a special ceremony after discharge that the social workers from our agency will perform, called an Entrustment Ceremony.  It is an important step in the adoption process for birth families and adoptive families.

We talked about some ongoing contact, specifically their family visiting us here at our house sometime during the holidays, hopefully Jessie's siblings will be able to join us for that. They were excited about seeing where we live and being able to see Chelsi's room.

The other thing we discussed was the Child Dedication (like a baptism-what our church does for babies) and they are very interested in attending and inviting some of their extended family, who we are also excited to meet.

All in all, our meeting was wonderful. We really enjoy Jessie and like her parents very much too. Eli was so brave and grown up, introducing himself, talking about hobbies and things he likes in school.  He also asked Jessie a few questions about her responsibilities at their house caring for their dog, and he also asked if he could take a picture of her with her parents.  It is a picture we will treasure.

So, be praying for a safe and uneventful delivery of our sweet baby in about 5 weeks!!!  Can't wait to get that call!!!  Happy Holidays everyone!  We aren't sending Christmas cards, but look for something in the New Year, when we have a new family member to add to our family photo!!!!

Quick update

It's been about awhile since I've posted, but not much has happened with the adoption since our face to face meeting with the birth mom.

We have moved into the house and we LOVE it. We got our old place on the market last week and have had a few showings. Pray that it sells quickly!

Just yesterday our social worker came to our house to update our home study, which needs to be done once a year, so even though we've been chosen, we still needed to update it since Chelsi will be born after our old one had expired. It needs to be current at the time of placement.

We are meeting with the birth mom again next week, on Tuesday. Eli will get to come and meet her as well, then he'll hang out with my sis, Connie, while we discuss the hospital plan and a bit more of what our open adoption will be like.

We are so excited! It seems so hard to believe in a few short weeks we'll have a new baby in our home. Finally!!

Thanks for all of your thoughts, prayers and kind words!!!

Great Meeting tonight!!!

We have just left our meeting with the birth mom, Jessie. It went SO well!!! After about 1/2 an hour she asked her social worker what she needs to do to PICK US!!!!!!! Woohoo!! Her social worker said she likes her clients to take at least a day to think about it, so she will officially decide tomorrow.

She was smart & kind, and we're very excited to be starting this relationship with her!!!! We're on our way home to tell Eli!!

As I've mentioned before, nothing is for sure until the baby is born, and she's entrusted her with us, but she is very confident in her decision to place Chelsi for adoption. Please continue to pray for Jessie and Chelsi and all of the birth family!!!!

Yay!!!!

Quick update

Just got an email asking if we could change our meeting to Monday instead of tomorrow. :) Just wanted to let people know so you're all not wondering tomorrow! Thanks for all of the nice messages and prayers!!!!

Exciting News!!!

Ok, so we've gotten super exciting news!  Last Thursday we got great news...our social worker called to say that the birth mom who looked at our profile Wednesday wants to meet us!!  She brought our book home that night and only ours, and she only wants to meet us, no other families!! This doesn't mean she has chosen us officially, but it is a really good sign!!!

So, this is a young woman from the Twin Cities, and she is interested in an open adoption, which we also really want!  She was adopted herself, into a Caucasian family, she is African American, and so is the birth father.  At this point, he is not involved.  He is aware of the pregnancy but hasn't had contact with our agency.

The baby is a girl, due Jan 15th.  The birth has named her Chelsi and it is important to her that we keep that as her name.

Kevin, our social worker & I will meet with her and her social worker on Wednesday evening.

Sooooo, please keep up the prayers!  We are so excited but are trying to keep cautious as well.  Eli is already telling people he is getting a baby sister and is so excited, but understands she could choose another family if for some reason she feels like it isn't right with us.  

We've got a crazy week, we're closing on our new house tomorrow morning, then meeting her on Wednesday.  I'll try to post again soon after our meeting.

October Update

Hello Everyone,
Not much has been happening on the adoption front these days but we've been busy with other exciting news!  We have decided to move!  We have loved our current house and all that it has to offer (the lake, our dock & pontoon, and just the cute house and yard) but we have not had good luck with neighbors.  Many of you know we've had ongoing issues with crime, bad renters, noisy neighbors and then the main problem, no other children in the neighborhood.  As Eli has gotten older, this has become more of an issue.  Currently his best friend in the neighborhood is our very nice 50ish, Harley riding, AA member, junk collector next door neighbor.  I think it's time to find some friends his own age to be playing with!

We're moving about a mile from our current house, to a neighborhood that was built about 8 years ago...it's where I run & walk a lot and we know lots of families from school and church there.  We are super excited for many reasons!!  As most of you know, I love to decorate, so this will be FUN for me!!  We'll have 4 bedrooms, which will be great since we often have out of town visitors.  We'll have a guest room for them and space for a new baby!!!!! There's also an unfinished basement for my wild, loud boys to play all the sports they want & I can stay sane this winter!!!! And look at that cute front porch!!!!! We'll be closing on October 23rd, and will start moving a few things, but have painters coming in to do some major painting for about 2 weeks.  We haven't listed our house yet, but will do so after we move, probably around the beginning of November.

Eli has been giving us a run for our money with his behavior lately...we're trying to be consistent with our discipline, giving appropriate consequences, etc, but it's tough!

So, I'd been thinking I should write a quick update to say nothing was going on, but we just got a call about a Birth Mother who will look at our profile soon!  She is due in January, so we are excited!!!  Please be praying that this is THE ONE!!  We still have been feeling ok with the waiting, but would love to have a baby soon!!!!!

Thanks for reading, checking in and for all the prayers!!

Update on the 2 possible babies

Hello,
Just wanted to send a quick update...we just heard on the 2nd baby this morning, we weren't chosen by either birth mom.

I'm feeling a bit more disappointed, one of the babies had already been born and was at the hospital on his own for about a week before his birth mom chose a family.  The second was a girl due about the same week as some friend's baby girl in November.  It is easy to start imagining how great it would be when you know real specifics about babies!

All in all, we're doing fine.  It's hard, but we know of at least 4 more women who are making decisions about adoption plans before the end of the year, and there is always a chance for more!

Thanks for all of your prayers and for checking in!

Have a great week!
Julie

Prayer Request!!!!

Ok People, start praying!!  We just got word today of two possible babies and I'm getting a little more antsy!  One is a boy, one is a girl.  The birth mothers will be looking at profiles in the next 2 weeks, so please pray that one of them chooses us!!!!  Thanks so much for checking in!

Have a great weekend!

July Update

We've just gotten home from a 10 day trip to Kevin's family's cabin.  Someone please remind me 10 days in too long to spend in our camper the next time we plan a trip like that.  I apparently had temporary amnesia, we did this 2 summers ago, but not last year, so I guess I forgot!  We did have fun spending time with our family in Akeley...Eli loves his cousins!!!  We were at the campground in town for a couple days, which was great, but all in all, a lot of work and not much rest.  I did get a couple of skates in, and a couple of walks, but this darn weather makes it hard to exercise outside!!!  Kevin was able to do lots of riding on his new ATV, which he loves, so that was good for him.

We had been waiting to hear news about a possible baby for the last couple weeks.  A young woman, who was due at the end of August was looking at profiles.  She was only a "5" on a scale of 1-10 (1 being least certain, 10 being completely decided) about if she wanted to place the baby for adoption or parent.  She took profiles home about 2 weeks ago, and wanted to hang onto them and keep looking at them.  She also wanted to talk with a mother who had placed her baby for adoption and an adoptive family to help her make her decision.  We got an email from our social worker yesterday that she has decided to parent.  It is a disappointing email to get, but at the same time, I am in no way angry or upset with the birth mom.  How could I be mad that someone has decided they will be able to parent their own, sweet, precious baby.  I will be praying that this woman has the support & resources that she needs to care for her baby.

So, we're back to waiting.  It has been almost a year since we applied to our agency, and only 7 months since our home study has been finished.  The "average" wait at our agency is about 18 months, so we're doing ok.  We haven't had an update this month on how many birth mom's are in counseling at the agency, but will probably hear about that next week.  From last month's report, there are several more possibilities in the next few months. Keep praying for us and the birth parents!!

Thanks for checking in!

Crazy Week

So, it's been a crazy week here with the adoption. We were aware last week that a birth mother would be looking at our profile on Monday, but then Friday we heard of another who would be looking at profiles Tuesday.  Then, on Monday, we got a call about a 3rd birth mother looking at profiles.  All 3 babies were boys.  We, of course, were thrilled.  We haven't had any showings of our profile book since December.  I was trying to stay calm, and did a pretty good job. Unfortunately, we found out yesterday and today that all 3 birth mothers went with other families.

We feel sad, but know of several more birth mothers currently in counseling with the social workers at our agency, so while it's disappointing, we have more possibilities coming up.  We really are doing okay, and plan on enjoying our summer with Eli.  (Hopefully his last as an only child!!)

Please keep praying!  We trust God will bring a baby to our family!  Thanks for your thoughts and prayers and checking in with us on the blog!

May Update

So, things are getting exciting around here!  After not much action the last couple months, things are picking up at our agency.  We need to keep most of the details private, but we would love prayer for our adoption.  There are several clients at the agency making decisions in the coming months, and that means that some of them will be looking at our profile.  We are very excited, but still cautious.  It is hard to keep that balance, but we are doing well.

Kevin is done with school, Eli has one more week, we've celebrated all of our birthdays and have travelled a little.  Summer is going to be busy with weekends away, sports and Vacation Bible Schools for Eli and lots of outdoor plans!  I'm doing my first 5k tomorrow morning.  I've lost almost 35 lbs (34.5 as of yesterday) and am feeling really great!  I have plans to keep active and keep losing more!!!

Thanks for reading and checking in on us. Again, all of your prayers would be so appreciated!
Have a great start to summer!!!!!

Spring Update

Well, it's been a while since I've posted so I thought I'd fill you in on what's going on, or really, not going on.  There is nothing really to report.  We've had monthly updates from our social worker a couple of times since I last posted.  In March, the news wasn't great, our agency really didn't have any clients or possible clients.  Our most recent update from mid-April was a bit better, there are 7 women either having decided to place their babies or are in decision making counseling right now, due dates ranging from June to November. None of these are ready to choose an adoptive family, but we're praying that one of these could be our match!  There are currently 12 families (including us) who are waiting to adopt at our agency.

We're doing ok with the process...Kevin has 3 classes left (last class May 16th) so he is really excited to be done! My diet & exercise have been going really well, I'm down a little more than 28 pounds & have been exercising most days. I'm feeling really good.  Eli is done with hockey & is on to baseball...he's playing on a coach-pitch team and is loving it! All in all, we're staying busy & enjoying spring...we're so thankful that we have Eli, it really makes the process a lot easier to stay focused on him.  Colten (my great-nephe, who I do daycare for) is also such a blessing.  He is such a sweet, happy baby, I love having him here.

We'd appreciate your prayers about this, and also, if you ever know anyone considering adoption for their baby, we'd love to be connected.  This is often how adoptions happen.

Have a great spring!!!

Update

It's been a while since I've posted and I've gotten questions on our adoption progress.  At this point, nothing has been happening.  I would think we'll be getting a monthly update from our social worker soon, and our last one pretty much said that not much was happening at the offices.  2 of the 5 offices of our agency didn't have any "decision making clients." (Birth families)

We are doing okay with this...as always, we are keeping busy.  Kevin's work has gotten super crazy and he is in his final weeks of school.  He will be done with classes in mid May, which we are all really looking forward to!!!  He has done so well with all of his classes and has learned a lot that is helping him in his job.  (His degree will be a BA in Organizational Leadership.) 

I have been dieting and exercising and have thankfully lost 17 lbs in the last 6 weeks.  It feels good to be making some progress in this area, where I always struggle.  I hadn't been looking for a new diet to try, but while at Costco, came across a book, called "The Simple Diet."  It really is simple!  3 meal replacement shakes (like Slimfast) 2 frozen entrees, (Lean Cuisine, etc) and then at least 5 fruits and veggies per day.  There is a 2nd phase and then a long term phase that adds other foods back in.  Exercise is always the key to losing weight and I just hate getting started.  Once I am doing it, I can keep it up, so thankfully I've gotten back into it.  I have been using our elliptical, doing some weights, Just Dance 2, and now, thanks to this crazy warm weather, run/walking outside.  I'll be able to inline skate and bike now too!  

Eli is as high energy and busy as ever.  He played hockey this winter and totally loves it!  We signed him up for a short spring league that goes until the beginning of April.  He'll be playing baseball this spring and them some other camps (Lacrosse, basketball and tennis) this summer.  He is definitely his father's child with his LOVE of all sports!!!!!!!  He just can't get enough! 

We're praying that we get a call soon about a baby.  Please pray with us that our agency has more clients coming in for counseling about their pregnancies and that one of them chooses our family.  Enjoy this beautiful weather and have a wonderful spring!  Thanks for reading!

February Update

So not much has gone on with the adoption lately. We had our profile shown to one birth family last week, but they chose another family.

We got an update from our social worker today and there are a couple of birth moms thinking about placing their babies over the next few months, but 2 offices don't have any birth parents considering adoption, so that limits our chances for the time being.

Things have been really busy here at our house...Kevin is in the last fee months of school and it is really a lot of work. His job is going really well, but it is sometimes overwhelming.

Eli has been really enjoying hockey and is doing well in school despite not loving it. He'd rather be playing than at school, but comes home happy very day!

I'm getting started on a new diet and exercise plan...I'm feeling good and committed right now. I am praying I can stick with it! I've got a pretty big goal-to get to my target BMI, which means I need to lose 55 pounds. Yikes!!!

Thanks for reading, I'll post again if we here any news!

Happy New Year!

Hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year.  We were busy, traveling to Duluth for some skiing/snowboarding and water park fun the week before Christmas.  Then we were home for Christmas with the Ecklunds on Christmas Eve, at our house Christmas Day with Kev's parents, then up to Akeley to celebrate our sweet God Son, Noah's 5th birthday on New Year's Eve.  We celebrated Christmas with the Kramers on January 2nd, so we really stretched out the party! We had lots of fun, but it's going to take me a while to get this house back in order!

On the adoption front, we are now an active "waiting family" with our agency.  We got a call on Dec. 16th that our Home Study had been approved, so that next Monday the 19th, we went into the waiting pool.

I'll try to explain what happens now...when a birth mother (sometimes the birth father/birth grandparents) goes to our agency, they fill out some general health & social history.  She has her own social worker who she will meet with several times (hopefully-this is the ideal, but it depends on how far along in her pregnancy she is-sometimes it may just be 1 or 2 meetings.) and during that time she answers questions regarding what type of communication/openness she would like, if she has preferences about siblings, if the mom stays home, if the family is Christian, etc.  This info, along with due date, sex of the baby, any birth father info, and the health and social history are compiled into a form called a Request For Summary.  RSF.
When she is ready to look at Adoptive Family Profile books,  her social worker contacts the adoptive parent social workers to see if there are families matching her criteria.  If we match, our social worker contacts us, and sends us the RSF.  We receive it by email and are given a certain amount of time to look it over and decide if we want this birth mother to see our book.  We are able to call our social worker to talk about question/concerns.  Some reasons we may decline to be shown would be a known medical problem, drug and alcohol use, or a known special need the baby would have.
If we say yes, the birth mother has a meeting with her social worker where she is shown profiles.  She usually looks at more than one.  If she thinks we'd be a good match, our social worker will contact us to set up a face to face meeting.  (With both social workers present.)

So, that is where we are...we actually received one RSF on the first day we were active, but had to decline.  Our social worker made a small mistake and forgot the one thing that we are not open to as far as ethnicity.  Native American children who are placed for adoption have to go through one extra step, which is a Termination of Parental Rights meeting with the tribe they are from.  It can be unpredictable and we feel like it is one extra set of "what ifs" that we want to avoid.  In the case of the RSF we turned down, both parents identified as Caucasian, but the mother had a small amount of Native American heritage. Even though she doesn't consider herself Native American, the tribe would have the final say in where her baby is placed. It was so exciting to get the RSF, but we knew we had to say no and stick with our original decision.

We really don't have any idea how long this will all take, but we're praying that God has a baby chosen for us, and that he will help orchestrate a smooth, problem free adoption.  And of course, I pray that it happens quickly, but we all know that God has his own timeline!  :)  I'll try not to rush him!

Happy New Year!!!